(A two-year-old in the middle of a rampage, hitting everyone and everything in sight)
Stop it, ________!
(________ screams, hits himself in the face)
Don't hit yourself! Why are you doing that?
(________ looks confused, screams, then hits himself again. I kneel down and stop him)
_________, stop. You're like Ryan Gosling in "The Notebook." Calm down.